


Meeting a New Daddy

by Ellie226



Series: The Community [7]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Age Play, Daddy Kink, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mommy Kink, Multi, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 20:56:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2482154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellie226/pseuds/Ellie226
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben loves being with Emily and Matt. Emily and Matt love having Ben there. That doesn't mean that Matt knows what to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meeting a New Daddy

Matt's POV

I tried to keep myself calm as I helped Ben. We were going to Charlotte and Lucy’s for dinner, and it was all of us, but I knew how nervous Ben was about meeting the maybe daddy, as I'd overheard him referred to as.

"What pants, do you think?" I asked.

Ben was sitting in his crib, having woken up from his nap, and he wasn't being particularly helpful today.

Curls springing wildly up all over his head, he shrugged at every question, telling me he didn't know, and this was no exception.

"Don't know, Uncle Matt," he said softly. "You pick."

We had talked about this in therapy, but Ben still found it hard, and I quickly picked out three pairs of pants, holding them up.

"Pick one," I encouraged.

"I don't know," he insisted, sounding tearful.

I set one of the pairs down, holding up just two and prodding, "I need you to make a choice, peanut. Which do you think are better?"

"He likes the darker ones, Daddy," Emily's voice piped from the doorway.

"Go watch TV," I dismissed her. 

Ben was nervous enough without an audience, and Emily wasn't guaranteed to be the most helpful tonight. She was less than thrilled at the idea of us helping Ben date again, although she'd sworn that she'd help when the time came.

That was four months ago though, and the reality was much harder than the simple idea. It was true for both of us.

I kept telling her that if we loved Ben, we had to let him go and find his own family. He would always be part of ours, and he'd always have a room here. I wasn't saying that he couldn't come back. But he needed to move on.

I needed him to move on. Every day that he was here, the idea of losing him to some other daddy was that much harder, and I knew it was inevitable. He deserved a daddy. He deserved someone who would be able to give him everything, not an uncle that he only got a tiny portion of.

It wasn't fair to either of them, keeping him in this limbo. Especially because every day I loved him more. So I needed to help him to find his new family.

"Dark ones," Ben whispered, pointing at the pair Emily had picked out.

"Okay," I agreed, setting them down. "Good boy. Now shirts."

Ben's POV

I wish this wasn't happening. I didn't know what to wear. Everything I picked was always stupid and ugly, and this new daddy...even if I could fool him for a night, he'd figure it out eventually, and then it would be like David.

I didn't want that. I liked my life here. Sometimes, I was jealous of Emily. We talked about that a lot in therapy. 

It was hard not to be jealous of her, when she had everything. But that was okay. Being jealous was okay, so long as I didn't get mean.

And I could live with jealousy, if it meant I got to stay. Everything was so perfect here. I loved it, and I didn't want to go and live with somebody who would settle for me being their little boy. 

Just having an uncle, who already had a really good little girl, meant that I didn't have to be as special. Uncle Matt didn't need me to be as good as Emily because I was only a very tiny part of his life. So I got to have a really good uncle, and that was much better than a daddy.

It didn't matter though. Uncle Matt wanted me to move out, and so now it was time to do that. He kept saying that there was no rush, but I heard him talking to the other big people about me dating.

I had to be brave. Pretty soon, Uncle Matt and Emily wouldn't be around all the time when I was scared, and a new daddy was unlikely to be tolerant of my fears. 

"What do you think Aunt Charlotte is going to make for dinner?" Uncle Matt asked, as he pulled a shirt over my head.

Matt's POV

Ben answered in a mumble, "Dunno."

"Do you think it'll be lasagna?" I continued, wanting to distract him as well as myself.

"I don't know, Uncle Matt," Ben said. "How long do we have to stay?"

"It's just dinner," I tried to soothe him. "We'll eat dinner, and maybe we'll play a bit, and then we'll come home."

He didn't appear happy with my answer, and I lapsed into silence as I helped him into jeans and socks. His shoes were downstairs, by the door, and we could get them after I'd fixed his hair and helped him brush his teeth.

Ben was typically not the chattiest person, but he was silent today, and I rushed through getting him ready, eager to get us on our way. This was going to be hard. Delaying it would not make it any easier, and once we got through this first dinner, any subsequent dinner was going to seem less overwhelming.

"All set, peanut," I announced, once his hair was in some semblance of order. "We should maybe think about getting you a haircut."

"'k."

"Here, brush," I instructed, handing him a toothbrush with toothpaste.

Emily's POV

Daddy and Ben were taking forever. I knew what that meant, even if they were denying it.

Ben shouldn't go anywhere. He was happy here. I was happy. Daddy was happy. Who cared if nobody else's family looked like ours? I certainly didn't. 

Ben was sweet and little and cute, and Daddy was definitely not listening. Whenever I tried to broach the topic of Ben staying, really staying, he would tell me that I wasn't thinking things through.

I had thought about it a lot. I thought about it all the time, practically, and I had found the perfect solution to Ben's problem. 

If he stayed with us, then he could have a daddy, and Daddy could have somebody who wanted that mushy baby stuff that Ben liked, and I would have Ben all the time, to play with. 

Ben got mad whenever I asked him if he wanted to stay. Daddy had caught wind of it, and I wasn't allowed to talk to Ben anymore about staying. Daddy said it was cruel. It wasn't. I meant it.

"Okay, Em," Daddy announced, coming down the stairs, Ben on his hip. "Ready?"

"I don't want to go," I informed him, from my position on the couch. "I think I'm getting a migraine."

Matt's POV

"You don't get migraines," I told her firmly. "Come on. Up. Aunt Charlotte's making dinner, and we're running late."

"We're always running late," she complained.

"Emily Anne!" I grabbed her hand, balancing Ben carefully. "Up. Now. Don't make me ask again."

She stood up, glaring at me, and jerked her hand away. Then, tossing her hair, she walked to the door and opened it, making her way to Charlotte's without another word to me.

It was going to be a long night. Grabbing Ben's sippy cup from the coffee table, I hugged him a bit and murmured, "Aunt Charlotte said he's really nice, and I think you're going to like him."

Ben nodded at that, appearing skeptical, and I reminded, "And if you don't, then that's fine. We'll just find somebody else."

The little boy didn't look any more relaxed at those words, and I sighed, wishing we didn't have to do this. 

"Uncle Matt-"

He stopped himself, and I murmured, "Yeah, peanut?"

"Nothing," he shook his head. 

We were running late, and I didn't have time to figure out what he had wanted to tell me, a process that I knew from experience could take several hours, and so I hugged him again.

"We're going to go. If you remember what you want to talk about, just let me know, okay, Ben?"

He nodded, resting his head on my shoulder, and I started my own walk to Charlotte's home, trepidation growing with every step.

Charlotte's POV

I'd roasted a chicken and mashed some potatoes, nothing too complicated or garlicky for Ben's first meeting with Tyler. I wanted this to go well. 

I was a little worried about peas. Ben usually ate whatever I served, but Matt had never mentioned peas. I was hopeful that if Ben hated them, Matt would just ignore it.

"Mama?" Lucy appeared at my side, leaning against me. "When's Mr. Tyler getting here?"

"I asked him to come half an hour after Uncle Matt said he'd be here," I replied. "I thought maybe Emily and Ben would need some time to get more comfortable."

Looking at the clock, Lucy said, "Em said they were 'posed to be here at 5:30."

It was already 5:45, but I'd factored in Matt's lateness, giving us a bit of a grace period. 

"Mr. Tyler is going to be here at 6:00, Luce," I said calmly. "And I'm guessing he'll be on time. Uncle Matt will be here any minute though. Is the table set?"

"Yes, ma'am," she nodded. "And I put water glasses down too, with the flowers. Do I need to do anything else?"

"No thank you, my little helper," I praised, hugging her. "You are being so good for Mama today; I think maybe tomorrow, we'll need to get a reward."

She hopped a little at that, but her excitement was interrupted by a knock on the door, and off she went.

"It's Em!" she shouted gleefully, knowing before she even opened up the door.

I listened to the sounds of her inviting everyone in and trying to pull Emily to the playroom. Ben was attached to Matt, and Emily didn't want to leave the little boy.

"Luce," I called, "how about you get out your art supplies, and you guys can color in the living room?"

She didn't look thrilled with that, but she did as I asked, returning a few minutes later with a massive box of crayons as well as paper.

"Look, Ben," I heard Matt say. "Let's draw a picture. Do you think you can draw me a picture of your dreams from last night?"

Their voices faded as they all filtered out to the living room, and I put the finishing touches on dinner before I went to join them. Tonight was going to go well. Tyler was a great guy, and I thought he'd do very well with Ben.

I'd actually met Tyler through work first. He was a lawyer as well. It was a coincidence that Lucy and I had run into him at a munch later on, and I'd been itching to set him up with someone. 

When everything happened with Ben, it seemed like Kismet. Tyler was a great guy, smart, well educated, and very sweet. He also badly wanted to be a daddy, and I thought he would dote on Ben.

Although I'd spoken with both Matt and Tyler about the situation, I hadn't talked to Ben. I hoped the little boy was feeling not as nervous as Matt had worried, but I figured that it wouldn't matter regardless. I had a good feeling about tonight.

Tyler's POV

I pulled up to Charlotte's house five minutes early, and then had to sit in my car and try to breathe. I couldn't believe that I was going to meet this new little boy. Charlotte had told me so much about him, and I was excited and nervous.

Finally, feeling under control, I grabbed the wine that I'd put on the passenger seat and stepped out of the car, walking slowly to the door. 

My knock was answered by the sound of running feet, and Charlotte's partner opened the door, grinning widely.

"Hi, Mr. Tyler!" she greeted. "You bring me gummy bears?"

"Not tonight, sweetheart," I apologized. "Mama said you've been getting cavities."

She pouted a little at that, but her upset was interrupted by Charlotte coming up behind, landing a firm swat on Lucy's backside before she invited me in.

"It's not nice to ask for treats, Lucy Jane," she admonished, waving to me. "Come on in, Tyler. I want you to meet Ben and Matt."

Lucy followed us to the living room, rubbing the smacked spot on her bottom and grumbling a little.

"This is Tyler," she introduced. Pointing to the people on the couch, she said, "That's Matt, and his little girl Emily. Ben would be the one hiding."

Ben was indeed hiding, face pressed against Matt's side, and my heart went out to the little boy. He was absolutely beautiful, from what I could see.

Instinctively, I dropped to my knees, lowering my voice and greeting, "Hi, Ben. My name's Tyler."

Matt waited a minute, rubbing the little boy's back before he prodded, "Ben, say hello."

Ben peeked out just a little, quickly mumbling, "H'lo. Very nice to meet you," before he hid again.

"It's nice to meet you too. What're you guys doing?"

Matt slid to the floor, encouraging Emily to come down beside him and holding out his arms to Ben. I scooted closer to the table, looking at the art in front of them.

"This is beautiful," I praised. "Which is yours, Ben?"

Shyly, not looking at me, Ben gently tapped a sheet of paper with a house on it, whispering, "Mine."

"That's a beautiful house," I told him.

"Ben's a good artist," the little girl interjected. "He draws really good, and Daddy said he's going to enroll him in art classes."

I nodded, commenting, "That sounds like fun. What kind of art do you like, Ben?"

He didn't answer, and after a moment of back rubbing, Matt said, "Ben's pretty eclectic. He likes to draw though. We've talked about what kind of classes."

"Ben's nervous," Emily announced. "'cause he's not used to school anymore. He hasn't been in a really long time."

I wasn't sure what to say to that, and I chose to not respond at all. It seemed like she was going for a certain response, and I didn't know what it was.

"Em, I think Aunt Charlotte may need help," Matt told her, nodding at the kitchen. "Why don't you and Lucy ask?"

"Ben too," she demanded, standing up and holding out a hand to him.

"No, Ben is going to stay here," Matt replied firmly.

She looked ready to stomp her foot at that, but Lucy grabbed her hand and pulled, saying, "We baked cookies. Come on; if Mama is busy, we maybe can sneak one."

Emily scowled at me, informing Matt and I, "Ben gets cookies too."

"If Aunt Charlotte says that you can have cookies, then yes, Ben can have a cookie too," Matt said, adding, "and no sneaking, you two. I bet Aunt Charlotte's almost done cooking."

It looked like Emily had something else to say to that, but Lucy pulled her from the room before she had a chance, and we settled into quiet.

Ben's POV

Uncle Matt was trying to get me to talk, and the maybe daddy seemed nice, but David had seemed nice at first too. I didn't want to talk to this man.

"What sorts of things do you like, Ben?" he asked.

I hid my face against Uncle Matt, sticking my thumb in my mouth and refusing to answer. He patted my back and answered for me.

"Ben loves to read stories," he answered for me. "He likes art. He likes playing in the sandbox at the playground, and he likes the swings."

"I like books too," the man said. "What are you reading right now?"

I burrowed deeper, and Uncle Matt continued to rub and pat, murmuring, "Come on, peanut. What're we reading?"

Still hiding, I said, "Little Prince."

Not satisfied with the answer, he asked, "How do you like it?"

After a moment, when I didn't answer, Uncle Matt said, "Would you mind giving us a minute, Tyler? Ben and I need to speak privately."

The man stood up and walked back to the kitchen, and Uncle Matt made me sit up straighter so he could look at me.

"Ben, I understand that you're scared," he lectured me. "That's fine. It's scary to do something new. But you need to be polite to Mr. Tyler. He seems like a very nice man."

"I want to go home," I told him.

"And we will," he agreed. "After dinner, peanut. But you said that we could have dinner, and you need to be a good guest now. Please."

If it had been Emily, she would have asked why she needed to be good, but I wasn't that brave. I was too afraid to hear Uncle Matt's answer about what would happen if I misbehaved, and so I acquiesced. 

Charlotte's POV

Tyler walked through to the kitchen, offering, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Things not going well?" I asked.

He looked around, checking for little ears, and I pointed to the playroom, telling him, "They're through there. They can't be trusted in here with cookies; not this close to dinner."

"I think he's just nervous," Tyler said, trying for nonchalant. "This must be scary for him. Matt asked me to give them a minute."

"Let's get dinner on the table. Everyone'll relax once they're eating," I suggested.

Tyler took food out to the table while I went back to let the girls know and ask them to wash their hands. I put him in charge of rounding up Matt and Ben.

Matt's POV

Things were not going well. Ben was clinging to me like a koala, and he wouldn't look at Tyler. It was hard for me to force him to interact, and I really just wanted to go home.

Tyler came back out, informing us, "Charlotte said dinner's done."

"Okay, thank you," I nodded, putting Ben to his feet and standing up myself. I took the little boy's hand and said, "Let's go wash our hands, Ben."

The other man followed us to the kitchen, trying to engage Ben in conversation with little success.

Ben didn't want to answer questions, and I didn't know if the right thing was to force him to. When he'd first come to us, he'd been so shy, so afraid of saying or doing the right thing, and we'd had to work past that. I didn't want him to think that we were trying to get rid of him, or that he had to pretend to like whatever daddy we threw at him, but I didn't want him too afraid to try to find a new family.

When we got to the table, Ben tried to position himself on my lap, and I gently redirected him to a chair, deciding that baby steps was a good plan.

"Come on, Ben," I told him softly, if firmly. "Sit in your own seat for dinner. You can sit on my lap after, if you'd like."

His face was blank, not betraying anything he might be thinking, and I forced myself to ignore it. This was good for him.

Tyler's POV

I didn't want to find fault in the way Matt was handling Ben. I'd heard the story of everything that had happened. Charlotte had told me, but it was also something of a public cautionary tale, making its way through the BDSM community in Atlanta.

However, in spite of the fact that Matt had stepped up and helped Ben, I really wished the other man would go away. Ben was clearly shy, but Matt intervening and answering for him wasn't helping the situation.

Dinner was a painful affair, Ben terribly quiet and shy, with Emily and Lucy chattering away like monkeys. I wanted just a few minutes alone with the little boy, to show him that I wasn't some type of monster. I knew if I had that, then I could convince him that he wanted to spend some time with me.

Charlotte must have been thinking the same thing. When everyone had finished eating, she began clearing the table, saying, "Matt could you help me with coffee, please?"

Ben tried to hop up with Matt, eager to stay close to the man, but Charlotte waved him off, "You sit, sweetheart. Why don't you keep Mr. Tyler busy, while the girls clear the table and Uncle Matt and I get coffee?"

Matt looked like he wanted to say something to that, but Charlotte handily caught his elbow and led him from the room, depositing him in the kitchen before she ordered through the door, "Lucy and Emily. Dishes, please."

Curling up in his chair, Ben rested his face against his knees, hiding himself from me, and I felt terribly for him. 

I thought for a moment about calling for Matt, but I decided that pushing through this awkwardness was our best option, and so I began talking.

"Do you like living here, Ben?"

He stiffened, slowly nodding his head even though he refused to lift his gaze to see me.

"What's the best part?"

I had several nieces and nephews, and I'd learned from years of awkward twice yearly contact that it was better to stick to questions that required words rather than shakes and nods.

It took him a moment, but he finally mumbled, "There's lot of people 'round. I got friends here."

"That's good," I nodded, pleased with our progress. "Who are your friends?"

"Em's my best friend best friend," he slowly responded. "But Mikey is fun too. He's littler than me, but he is a fun player. Lucy tol'rates me, but she's really Em's friend."

"And what do you do during the day?"

"Daycare," he said softly.

I nodded, "Daycare? What's that like?"

"It's fun," he whispered. "Miss Maggie has art projects, and we play outside when it's nice. There's a nice playground there. It's not so big as the big park, but there are swings and slides and monkey bars."

"What do you like to do best?"

"I like the swings," he answered. "But sidewalk chalk too. There's a big part of the playground that is cement like sidewalk. We draw on it."

"You're very artistic, then," I commented.

He had been slowly lifting his head as we talked, although he was avoiding eye contact, and he smiled shyly as he answered, "I like drawing. Sidewalk chalk is not the best for that. I'm not so good as Bert with sidewalk chalk, but it's still fun. It can get messy, but Uncle Matt says that's okay."

That was the longest bit of conversation that I'd gotten from him, and I was feeling very successful as Charlotte and Matt rejoined us, carrying dessert and coffee.

"Hey, peanut," Matt murmured, kissing curly hair before he set down the pie. "How're you doing?"

"Ben was telling me about daycare," I explained. 

"Oh," Matt commented, kissing the little boy again. "Did you tell Mr. Tyler about art at daycare?"

The little boy nodded, but he was back to not really talking, and I began to pick at my piece of pie, wondering what I could do to make him more comfortable.

Emily's POV

I did not like that Mr. Tyler. I didn't care that he was Aunt Charlotte's friend. He was asking my Ben all sorts of intrusive questions, and he wouldn't leave him alone. Ben didn't like him either; I could tell.

"Daddy?" I asked sweetly, "Can we go home soon? I am very tired."

"Don't be rude, Emily," Daddy chastised.

That made me pout. Daddy wasn't being fair. I was tired, and Ben was probably tired too, since he'd been subjected to interrogation since Mr. Tyler got here. I don't know what Aunt Charlotte was thinking.

"What kind of things do you like to do, Emily?" Mr. Tyler asked me.

"Spend time with my friends," I replied. "And cuddle my Ben. He doesn't like strangers."

Daddy was giving me a look, but I continued, explaining, "Ben's 'fraid lots of the time, and I make him feel better. He needs lots of re'ssurance and love, even though he's naughty sometimes."

"I don't even believe that Ben could be naughty," Mr. Tyler replied with a grin, reaching forward to tug Ben's curls.

"Emily," Daddy hissed at me, shaking his head when he saw the expression on my face.

I didn't listen, reaching out to bat his stupid hand away, ordering, "My Ben doesn't like to be touched without permission. That's rude."

That was apparently a step too far, and Daddy stood up, snapping his fingers and holding out his hand.

"Here. Now."

"I'm eating," I informed him.

"You're done," he replied, stalking to me and grabbing my arm. He hoisted me up out of my seat, suggesting to Ben, "Why don't you tell Mr. Tyler about the books we're reading, peanut. Em and I need to have a chat, and then I'll be right back."

Daddy practically dragged me out of the room, and I did not go quietly. He was pinching my arm, the way he was pulling, and I tried to wrench myself away.

"Let go," I hissed at him. "Ouch! Daddy! You are hurting my arm!"

"I'm going to be hurting something quite a bit lower, in a minute, Emily Anne," he said grimly.

That didn't sound good, but it didn't make me quiet. Daddy was wrong, and he wasn't listening to me about it. I'd tried to explain things, and he was being too stubborn.

I found myself in Aunt Charlotte's study, and Daddy was rifling through her desk, finally pulling out a paddle, which he shook menacingly at me.

"I cannot believe your behavior," he lectured angrily. "You do not treat someone that way, Emily Anne. You are being unbelievably rude to him, and it ends now."

I stomped my foot, saying, "He's rude! You don't pull someone's hair, Daddy. If I pulled Ben's hair, you would paddle me!"

"You don't smack his hand," he replied. "You don't act snotty with him because you don't like the idea of Ben finding a Daddy. If you don't know how to behave yourself, then you can stay in here and wait until the rest of us are done eating."

"Ben needs me!"

He shook his head, setting the paddle down and taking a deep breath, "This is not a good time for me to paddle you, Emily. Ben's upset enough, and I'm not going to make things harder for him just because you're looking for negative attention. You're going to sit on Aunt Charlotte's couch, quietly, and I'm going to go back to eat dessert."

"I don't want to," I argued, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I don't care," he replied. "I don't want to listen to a bratty little girl while I eat my pie, and neither does anybody else. Park it, Emily Anne, or you will not like the consequences."

That was vague, which made me curious, but Daddy stuck the paddle back in the drawer, walking over to me, and sitting me firmly on the couch.

"Sit," he ordered.

I couldn't help it. I barked. Matt's head looked like it was going to explode, but he turned and walked to the door, not responding, and I flopped myself back against the couch, fuming.

Matt's POV

I couldn't believe her behavior. She was being incredibly rude and difficult today, and it wasn't a new occurrence. Ever since we started talking about Ben meeting new daddies, she'd been argumentative about everything.

As anxious as Ben was about things, she'd made it much worse by talking to him repeatedly, working him up and trying to make things harder. I'd had just about enough, and I had every intention of spanking her when we got home.

For now though, I was going to rejoin the dinner party. It would do Emily some good to sit and think about what was going to happen and how she was going to behave. 

"I'm sorry about that," I apologized to everyone, reentering the dining room.

Ben's eyes were wide, and he had clearly been awaiting my return. As soon as I sat down, he was up and out of his seat, climbing onto my lap and hugging me, murmuring, "My tummy hurts."

"Okay," I told him, rubbing his stomach. "It's fine, Ben. Everything's fine."

"I want to go home," he whispered, sounding near tears.

I hated myself at the moment, but I hugged him and replied, "In a little bit, peanut. I promise."

Whatever progress Tyler had made, it appeared to be gone by the end of the night. Ben refused to get up from my lap, and he would answer questions only when forced. 

Finally, Tyler stood up, explaining apologetically, "I should get going. Thank you for dinner, Charlotte. Everything was delicious."

Kneeling beside my chair so that he could force Ben to make eye contact he said, "I really enjoyed meeting you Ben. I'd really like to see you again. Maybe we could go to the park or something."

Ben hid his face against me, and I rubbed his back, nodding at Tyler and saying, "It was a pleasure to meet you, Tyler. And again, I apologize for Emily's behavior."

He nodded, shrugging it off, "Littles. What can you do?"

"Paddle them soundly and send them to bed early," Charlotte suggested. "Come on, Tyler, let me walk you out."

Charlotte and Tyler walked to the door, and I snuggled with Ben, thinking about what we should do next. It felt like he needed a day or two before we talked about this more.

Charlotte apparently disagreed with that. Although I managed to gather Ben and Emily and get both of them home without incident, Charlotte texted me the next day and invited me for a play date at the park. 

It was really more of an ambush. I'd barely settled on a bench, not far from the swings where Emily and Ben played with Lucy, when she started in.

"So, Tyler really liked Ben," she explained excitedly. "He wanted to do another meeting, and I was thinking it might go better if Emily wasn't there this time."

"I don't know, Char," I tried. "I haven't talked with Ben yet, and I don't know how he's feeling."

"You haven't talked to him?" she asked, appalled.

I shrugged, "We were tired when we got home last night. It was pretty much just a normal bedtime routine after I spanked Miss Emily. Then, she was even more upset; it seemed like just getting everyone to bed was the best plan."

She looked at me critically, finally saying, "You know that you can't keep him, right, Matt?"

"I'm not talking about keeping him," I defended. "I just don't want to make him feel like he has to make a choice right away. He has time."

"Not really," she corrected. "It's only going to get harder, Matt. You said it yourself; he's doing well in therapy, and it's time for him to start working toward some independence from you."

Emily came running over, grabbing my hands and pulling, "Daddy Daddy! Come push me!"

"Okay, baby," I agreed, standing up. I was relieved to get away from the conversation.

Emily's POV

Aunt Charlotte was pushy. I loved her, but she was pushy. She was pushy with Lucy, demanding, and she was pushy with everyone else.

I was not to be pushed, and neither was my daddy. And so long as I could, I wasn't going to let her be pushy with my Ben either. I just knew that if I had enough time, I could make Daddy see.

Normally, interrupting like that meant Daddy would be reminding. He was patient when he did that (usually), but he didn't give me what I wanted. Today though, I was rescuing him, and I beamed up, giggling when he swooped me up and turned me upside down.

"How high do you want to be pushed, Em?" he asked, carting me to the swing and flipping me back onto my feet.

"Very high, Daddy!" I announced, hopping onto the swing closest to Ben.

Lucy jumped up, racing over to Aunt Charlotte, and I pointed at Ben, saying, "And Ben wants to be pushed too, Daddy."

Ben was just sitting on the swing, dragging his toes in the sand, and he needed some distraction. Very high pushing would help him.

Ben's POV

It was fun at the park, once Uncle Matt came over to play with Emily and I. He was good at that, playing with us, and I hoped that when I found my for real daddy, he would like to play too.

We played on the swings for a long time, until I was feeling tired and cranky, and Uncle Matt picked me up and insisted on carrying me piggy back all the way home, while Em skipped along beside, chattering about snacks. It was enough to make me forget all thoughts of a for real daddy, happy with what I had for now.

Uncle Matt didn't let me forget for long though, and that night, while he was helping me with my bath, he started to ask me questions.

"What did you think of Tyler?" he said, pretending not to care so much about my answer.

I wasn't fooled. That casual tone always meant there was a right answer and a wrong answer. What I didn't know was which one was right and which one was wrong for today.

I settled for a shrug, explaining, "He was okay."

"He seemed pretty nice," Uncle Matt suggested. "I could tell he liked you, so he clearly has good taste."

I couldn't help but blush at that, still surprised every time Uncle Matt said stuff like that. I shrugged again, saying, "He asked lots of questions."

"Well, that's because he wants to get to know you, peanut," Uncle Matt replied.

"I know," I nodded. "Em didn't like him."

"Did she tell you that?"

Matt's POV

Ben stiffened at that question, finally saying, "Not 'zactly."

"What does that mean, Ben?" I prodded.

He stared determinedly at the water, finally whispering, "She said he was nosy."

"Well," I said, gently washing his back as I thought. "Em doesn't have to like him, peanut. Just you. If you like him, and he treats you well, that's all we care about."

He didn't respond, and I wanted to let the matter drop. I knew that it wasn't entirely up to me though. Even if I wasn't ready, Charlotte and Sarah both felt like Ben needed to be encouraged.

"Would you like to see him again, peanut?" I asked, keeping my opinion to myself.

"I don't know," Ben said softly. 

Sighing, I finished washing him and sat back on my heels, saying, "Okay then, sweetpea. Why don't you think about it. Can you do that for me? Hmmm?"

"Yes, Uncle Matt," he agreed.

I expected him to play with his toys for a bit. Normally, Ben liked bath time. He was a little fish, happy to be in the water and thrilled at the one on one attention, and we'd slowly accrued a small collection of bath toys.

Tonight though, he didn't pick up his boats or his squirt toys. He didn't ask for bath crayons. Instead, he just sat there, looking very depressed, and it broke my heart.

"Ready to get out?" I asked him.

He nodded, and I helped him out of the bathtub, drying him off and then helping him into pajamas. Although I'd planned to go back downstairs and maybe watch a movie or play for a while still, Ben had other ideas.

Taking my hand, he led me to his rocking chair, not saying anything but waiting for me to sit. When I obliged, he climbed onto my lap and curled himself against my chest, thumb in his mouth.

After a while of quiet rocking, I began talking to him softly, wanting to make sure that he understood what was happening.

"Em and I love having you here, Ben," I explained quietly. "And you will always always always have a place here. This is your room, and we're your family. I want you to meet a new daddy for you though, peanut. As much as Em and I are going to miss you when you don't live here every day, I really think that you need a daddy who can give you all the love and attention that you need. Understand?"

He nodded, and I gently brushed hair away from his eyes, continuing, "And just because you don't live here doesn't mean that you're not our Ben, okay? You can come and visit whenever you want, and we'll have dinners and play dates. And if you ever want to come back here, for a little while or for a long time, you can do that. You don't ever have to stay with somebody that you don't want or that doesn't make you feel safe."

"I know, Uncle Matt," Ben replied.

He still seemed sad, and I didn't know what to say to him to make him feel better. After a long while of quiet rocking, he broke the silence, telling me, "I guess I want to see Mr. Tyler again. But you'll be there, right? Because I don't want to see just him."

"Of course," I kissed his forehead. "I want you to be comfortable, and that's what Mr. Tyler should want too. Have you thought about what you might want to do with him?"

He shook his head, and I suggested, "What if we had him come over here for a play date? That way, it's your house, where you're comfortable. We can eat lunch, and you two can play a little bit."

After considering that, Ben nodded his head, and I kissed him again, "I'll call Aunt Charlotte tonight, okay, peanut?"

With that plan in place, we went back to quiet rocking, the creaking of the chair uninterrupted until Ben fell asleep in my arms, and I silently transferred him to his crib.

Leaving the room in semi-darkness, I made sure the door was cracked, and I stood for a moment, just staring at the little boy, fast asleep in the crib. I wasn't sure how I was going to cope with him leaving.

I knew that my wife wasn't going to respond well to it, that was for sure. She was furious with me for even suggesting that it was time for Ben to look for a new daddy. She'd been angry with me for weeks, and I didn't know what to do or say to make her feel better.

When I got downstairs, we began rehashing the old argument, Em starting in immediately, as soon as I told her that we were going to invite Tyler over to our house.

"I just don't understand how you can think about making him meet this guy again," she hissed. 

"Em, I have to," I said tiredly, sick of the argument.

"No you don't," she argued, as furious with me as she had been every time the subject had come up. "Why can't he just stay?"

"For what?" I asked, feeling some of my tiredness give way to anger. "So he can keep being second place here? He deserves to be with someone who can give him all of their attention. You and I both know that isn't me, Emily, and it's not fair to him. Put aside your own feelings for a minute and think about that."

She hadn't safe worded, but she didn't have to. Not for this discussion. The minute we had a serious talk about Ben, I felt like I couldn't play the daddy card. It was too important for her to feel like she didn't have an entirely equal voice.

Emily's POV

I wanted to stomp my foot, but I couldn't. Sometimes, I hated when he wanted me to be big. It made so much sense to me, that Ben should stay, but I got tongue tied when I was big. Or maybe, he just didn't listen, and that made me all twisted up. I wasn't sure of what to do or say to make him understand.

"So you don't have room for both of us?" I asked, trying desperately to make him understand me. "I can love you both. Don't you get that? Ben being here doesn't take away from our relationship; it adds to it."

"Em," he sighed, sitting down on the couch and holding out his hand. 

He waited to continue until I sat down beside him, and then he tiredly tried to explain it to me again.

"Ben needs to be able to be somewhere where he gets to be the center of someone's world. Like you are with me. It isn't fair to either of you for him to stay here indefinitely."

Clenching my jaw, I thought for a moment, wanting to make sure that I was extremely clear when I answered him. 

Finally, I felt ready, and I began, "I'm already not the center of your world though, Matt."

He started to interrupt, to defend himself, and I held up my hand to stop him, continuing, "I'm not the center of your universe. That's fine. I don't need to be. You have more than enough of yourself to go around; I don't feel neglected because you love Ben too."

"It's not the same, Em," he replied. "I love Ben, but this is temporary. Something permanent...it would be different, and neither of us are prepared for that."

"We weren't prepared when he moved in," I shrugged. "Not really. We adapted. And we'd adapt to this too. I love Ben, and I feel like we're better when he's here."

My speech had slowed, each word coming out very distinctly as I chose them carefully. I didn't want to hurt Matt's feelings, but I wanted him to understand.

"He's our missing piece, honey," I finally said. "He gives us both something that we can't give each other."

"But what about him?"

I sighed, flopping against the back of the couch and rubbing at my face, exhausted and frustrated and wishing that he would just trust me.

"Em, we have to think about what's right for him too," Matt told me gently. "It isn't fair for you and I to decide that because we're happy, that Ben should put his life on hold."

"We're not ask-" I stopped myself. We were going over old ground, having the same discussion we'd been having, and I needed it to stop. I needed a time out so I could talk to someone else and try to figure out what I needed to say to Matt to make him see.

"Just think about it," I said. "Can you give me that? I'm not saying that we stop the stupid blind dates with guys who have no idea what they're getting, or that you have to offer Ben something permanent right now. I just want you to think about what I'm saying."

Matt nodded, and I allowed myself the small luxury of relaxing against him and not thinking for a while. As much as Matt and I needed to be the ones having this conversation, I really felt like I needed Daddy afterward. It was exhausting.

The night's sleep didn't make me feel much better. Neither did the following day. At some point, Daddy slipped away to make a call to Aunt Charlotte, but he didn't say anything to me about setting up the play date for Ben.

It wasn't until the following Friday when he announced, "Tyler's going to come over for lunch tomorrow."

Matt's POV

The look on my wife's face was awful, when I looked at her. I'd initially been more focused on Ben, wanting to make sure that he took the news okay. 

Ben appeared somewhat apprehensive, which was to be expected, but he wasn't upset. Not really. When I glanced at Emily though, I got a little worried.

"Okay," I announced, standing up. "Ben, I'd like you to go pick out your jammies. I'll be up in a minute."

He cocked his head to the side, clearly aware that this was a deviation from our normal routine, but then he nodded, "Yes, Uncle Matt," he chirped, turning and making his way up the stairs.

As happy as I was that Ben was slowly beginning to express preferences, I have to admit that in this exact moment, not having him question me or argue about doing something made my life much easier. 

The moment he was gone, Emily lit into me, "You said you'd think about it," she hissed.

"I did," I replied, trying to sound firm, like I knew what I was doing. "Baby, I did. I just...Ben said he wants to see Tyler again. We're going to respect that. We need-”

"I don't-"

I held up my hand, shaking my head and telling her, "Emily, Ben said he wants to. I'm willing to talk with you about this stuff, but Ben said he wanted to. Do you understand that? This is not me. This is Ben."

"That's just because he thinks that you want him to though," she said, sounding very close to tears. "He's trying to make you happy, Matt."

I nodded, "That may be, Em, but I need to respect his wishes. If you would rather be somewhere else tomorrow, then Aunt Charlotte said you could come over and play with Lucy."

My wife appeared torn when she was offered that option, and part of me wanted to simply tell her what we were going to do. It would be so much easier for me to pull rank and just say something, the way the other big people did.

Em wasn't easy. I loved her. I adored her. I thought she was pretty much the most perfect person on earth, and I never for a moment regretted my decision to marry her. But she was not easy. And for all the things I loved about her, this was the trade off. When something had to be debated, I couldn't simply say, 'This is how it is.'

Mostly, I liked that. I liked knowing that it wasn't all on me, that Emily had an equal voice. But there were times when it would be easier to just be able to tell her, 'Because I said so.' For both of us.

"I don't want Ben to have to see him by himself," she told me stubbornly. "I can stay."

"Em, he's not going to see Tyler by himself," I pointed out. "I'll be here. And Ben knows that all he has to do is tell me, and I'll make Tyler leave."

Emily had sat down on the couch, pulling her legs up tight to her body, and she hid her face from me as she thought about this. After a moment, she said, "He needs me."

"Em, I promise that I will take good care of Ben," I murmured, sitting beside her. 

I could tell what she wanted to do, even if it wasn't what she wanted to want to do, and I told her, "I think you should go to Aunt Charlotte's house. It might be easier for Ben if he has less of an audience."

That was true, but it wasn't the only reason I thought she should go to Charlotte and Lucy's for the day. She needed some time away from Ben, away from this discussion, and they could give that to her. Ben needed less pressure on him to appear okay when he maybe wasn't. It was better for both of them if she wasn't here.

"Okay," she muttered, not looking at me.

I reached a hand out to stroke her back, and she tensed, ordering, "Don't touch me right now."

"Okay," I agreed, pulling my hand back.

She sighed, refusing to look at me, "I love you, but I don't like you very much right now. You're not listening."

"I am listening," I corrected. “I’m not agreeing. There’s a difference.”

That got a very heavy sigh, and I could hear her eyes rolling even if I couldn't see them, "I feel like you're not listening to me. I understand that may not be how you feel about it, but that's how I feel about it."

"Okay, baby," I agreed, standing up. I wanted to kiss her on the top of the head before I left her to think, but she was clearly closed off right now, not wanting my comfort, and I needed to respect that.

"Go help Ben," she ordered me.

"Manners," I reminded, feeling like an ass, but also thinking that she likely needed me to be a stickler about stuff like that right now. 

"He's waiting, Daddy," she told me. "Please go up and help him. You said that you wouldn't be down here long."

"I did," I agreed. "I'll be upstairs, if you need me."

She nodded, and I left her alone with her thoughts, hoping that Ben was doing better upstairs.

Ben was waiting semi-patiently for me, sitting in his crib, feet dangling over the edge. He had his hands in his lap, and he was fidgeting quite a bit. Beside him sat a set of pajamas with rocket ships on them.

"Hey, peanut," I greeted. "Thank you for listening."

"I listen," he quietly replied.

"I know," I agreed, heart sinking at his little voice. "You're an excellent listener for me."

"Then why are you saying thank you for it?" he asked, sounding genuinely confused.

I walked over, instructing, "Arms up," as I thought about how to respond to that. As I helped him get his old shirt off, I explained, "Because it's still a nice thing for you to do, to listen to me. And I appreciate that."

He shrugged, allowing me to thread his arms through the shirt of his pajamas, and I couldn't help but ask, "How're you doing, sweetpea?"

"I'm okay," he muttered. 

He wasn't. He was way too quiet, even for Ben, and I wanted to swoop him up and cuddle him. Instead, I helped him get dressed into his pajamas before I held out my hand.

"Let's go down and play with Em," I suggested.

Ben didn't take my hand, shaking his head and replying, "I'm really tired, Uncle Matt. Can I just go to bed?"

Ben's POV

"Are you sure?" Uncle Matt asked.

I really just wanted to be left alone, but the only way I was going to get that is if Uncle Matt thought I was sleeping. Even if he had been willing to give me some time alone to think, there was no way he'd be able to keep Emily away. 

I wanted to curl up in my crib, with Owlie and my blanket, and stare out the window while I thought. And that meant I needed to be alone. It was better for me to start getting used to that again anyway, since I didn't know if Mr. Tyler liked to cuddle or not. He said he did, but David used to say stuff too.

"Sleepy," I nodded, avoiding eye contact.

Uncle Matt directed me through brushing my teeth and washing my face, and he grabbed a book when we were through.

I shook my head at him, "No thank you."

"We always read," he said slowly. "Peanut, don't you want a cuddle while we read a bedtime story?"

"No thank you," I repeated, more firmly.

Uncle Matt looked pretty upset, but he helped me into the crib, latching the side and pulling the covers up over me. He left me with a quick kiss to the forehead and a hand smoothing my hair, and I rolled onto my side to stare out the window.

Tyler's POV

I was on pins and needles during my drive to Ben's house the next day. Our last meeting had been good. I liked him at least, even if there had been some rough patches with Emily and Matt. 

Today though, Charlotte had assured me that Emily was going to visit her during our play date, and I was hopeful that not having her around would help Ben relax more.

I'd brought gifts, hoping that it would help the little boy warm up to me. I so wanted him to like me, and I was willing to start that out with a little incentive.

It took me a minute to get out of the car once I got to Ben's house, and I had to wait on the porch after I rang the bell. I busied myself grabbing packages and taking a few more deep breaths as I listened to the muffled conversation on the other side.

Ben and Matt were talking to each other, and it sounded like Ben was perhaps not as enthused about meeting with me again as I had hoped.

After what seemed like a good long discussion, the door swung open, Matt greeting me with a smile. My heart sank when I saw Ben, perched on his hip, with his face buried against the man's neck.

"Hi," Matt said, ushering me in.

He jiggled Ben a little bit, and the boy mumbled something that sounded vaguely like hi as well.

"Hi, sweetie," I told him. "Hi, Matt."

I don't think either of us knew what to do, and so I awkwardly thrust the gifts at Matt, offering, "I brought some presents for Ben."

"That was nice of you," Matt replied, managing to grab the gifts and hold them while still carrying Ben on his hip. "Wasn't that nice of Mr. Tyler, Ben?"

Ben nodded, not bothering to say anything, and Matt directed me to the living room, asking, "Would you like something to drink, Tyler? I could make some coffee or tea, or we have lemonade and juice."

"Coffee would be great, thank you," I replied.

Surprisingly, Ben did not go to the kitchen with Matt, although the little boy looked like he wanted to. He was deposited on the couch, where he stared at me with those giant Keane eyes. He had his stuffed owl tucked tightly against his body, and he didn't say a word to me.

"Would you like to open what I brought?" I suggested, nudging the boxes over from where Matt had set them on the table.

"Why?"

I wasn't sure what he was asking why to, and I answered, "Because you probably want to know what's in there."

Ben's POV

I did not, in fact, want to know what was in there. David had brought me gifts at first too. Even after things had gotten bad, he occasionally brought me things. It was never anything big. He'd bring me bags of gummy bears or flowers. Eventually, he didn't feel the need to give me anything after our fights, and those gifts had just faded away.

"Here you go," Uncle Matt interrupted my thoughts, setting a tray down on the coffee table. "I wasn't sure if you took cream or sugar, so I brought both."

Mr. Tyler accepted the drink, doctoring it with sugar while I watched him, and my stomach twisted painfully. Daddy used to drink it that way. Uncle Matt drank his coffee black and bitter, when he had it, although he usually drank tea instead.

Scrambling onto Uncle Matt's lap, I went back to hiding my face against him. He had promised that I'd be safe here, and I believed him. He wouldn't let Mr. Tyler hurt me while we were in this house.

"I thought Ben might like to open the gifts I brought," Mr. Tyler said to Uncle Matt.

I wanted to tell Uncle Matt no, but I didn't think that was polite, so I didn't say anything, letting him handle it.

"That would be nice," Uncle Matt agreed, hugging me. "Turn around, peanut, so that Mr. Tyler can see you."

My stomach was all knotted up, worse even than the last time I'd seen him, and I really didn't want to. But Uncle Matt hadn't asked. He'd said. And so slowly, I let myself shift a bit, not making eye contact.

Gifts were pushed into my hands, and I slowly opened them, not wanting to tear the paper too badly. It looked greedy when people did that, although Emily definitely ripped paper off of things when she got them. It wasn't nice though.

Carefully, I removed the bows and the paper, revealing several different gifts. Nodding, I mumbled, "Thank you."

"You're welcome, sweetheart," Mr. Tyler replied.

Matt's POV

Ben was acting downright robotic, and it was getting scary. We had a signal though. We'd agreed that if he needed a break, that he would ask for milk. It was something that he never wanted, and I figured knowing he had that safe and private way of getting a moment alone with me would help him get through this.

It's not that I thought Ben couldn't handle a play date. I just didn't want him to think that he had to. We could take a break. I would make Tyler leave, if Ben wanted me to. I wanted him to have the option without thinking that he was hurting anybody's feelings.

With no signal, I forced myself to go through the motions, looking at the gifts that Ben had received. Bath crayons, a few picture books, and a DVD of The Jungle Book. It was all things that we would have bought for Ben, and I had to wonder if he'd called Charlotte for ideas.

"That was really nice of you," I commented. 

"I thought..." Tyler was avoiding my eyes. The tension that Ben was exuding was palpable, and it was rubbing off on both of us. 

"Ben loves to read," I smiled at him, hoping it would help him to relax.

There was nothing to be tense about. I knew that. If Charlotte had set Ben up, then Tyler had to be a decent guy. We had talked and talked about this, and I needed to trust that Ben would set boundaries the way we'd discussed, as difficult as this was. 

Regardless of this pep talk, I still felt stressed out, and I wasn't really sure what to do or say to make things better.

Falling back on the plan I'd made last night, I suggested, "Ben likes to color. Maybe you'd like to see our playroom? We've got a ton of art supplies."

Tyler readily agreed, appearing happy to have something to focus on, and I got to my feet, with Ben still clinging to my neck.

"Let's show Mr. Tyler our art supplies," I murmured gently, rubbing his back as we walked to the playroom. 

Tyler was right behind us, and I could feel Ben peeking up over my shoulder at him for a moment, although he went quickly back to hiding himself.

Ben's POV

Uncle Matt carried me all the way to the playroom, stopping in front of the closet that was all art and opening it up. 

"What shall we play with, peanut?" he murmured, rubbing my back.

I didn't know, and I shrugged, peeking up at Mr. Tyler again. He wiggled his fingers at me, and I hid my face, blushing.

"I think crayons," Uncle Matt told me, pulling out the big container. "And blank paper," he added. 

Mr. Tyler must have taken the crayons from Uncle Matt because he got the paper even though he had one arm full of me. 

Carrying me over to the coffee table, Uncle Matt sat down, me in his lap, and set the paper in front of me.

Across the table, Mr. Tyler settled himself. Taking a piece of paper, he began to color, not paying me any attention, and after a minute, I got a sheet of paper and started a picture of my own.

Tyler's POV

Ben wouldn't look at me or talk to me, but he did relax as he continued to color. I snuck the occasional glance, but I decided that he might do better if I just let him draw without me trying to force a conversation.

Apparently, Matt felt the same way, and we colored together quietly for a while. After about 20 minutes, he announced, "I'm going to start some lunch."

"I help," Ben said quickly, trying to stand.

"No, peanut," Matt told him gently, making him sit down on the floor. "You stay here and keep Mr. Tyler company. I'll just be in the kitchen. You work on your beautiful picture, okay?"

Ben looked extremely nervous at that, but after glancing over at the kitchen, he nodded, and Matt stood up.

The rooms were open to each other, and Ben watched Matt for a while as the other man puttered. Without him in the room though, Ben seemed to relax a bit, starting to peek curiously at my picture.

"What're you makin'?" he asked, kneeling up.

"A garden," I replied, looking at the swirls of color instead of him.

"That doesn't look like a garden," Ben commented doubtfully, sitting back on his heels. "s'got lots of colors though," he complimented hurriedly, seemingly worried that he may have offended.

I shrugged, "It's a giant's garden. You just can't see it because it's too big, but it's a garden."

"There's no such thing as giants," Ben informed me.

"Not that we know about," I shrugged again. "What're you drawing?"

Shyly, Ben let me look at his paper, explaining, "This is me and Uncle Matt and Emily, at the park."

It was a beautiful drawing, very easy to recognize even though it was in crayon, and I complimented, "You are really a good artist, sweetheart."

"Thank you," Ben mumbled, taking the picture back.

I started to draw again, giving him a few minutes before I asked, "What else do you like to do, honey? I know you like drawing and books."

"Puppies," he answered quietly. "An' sand."

"Sand?" I asked, confused.

Ben looked up, nodding, "You know. Sand. At the playground. I like to build castles. Em likes the swings, so we do that too."

"I thought that you liked the swings too," I commented, remembering what had been said the night before.

"Uncle Matt pushes," Ben explained. "He pushes Em super high, but I don't like that so much. I like it when the swing goes slow, and I can tilt back, like this. It makes me a little dizzy, but I like the way all the everything looks when I'm tippy."

As he described this, Ben went back up on his knees, leaning his body back and dipping his head.

"That sounds fun," I grinned, amused.

"What do you like?" Ben asked me.

"I like the swings," I agreed. "I like the merry go round thing too. Do they have that at your playground?"

"Not at the playground," Ben shook his head. "I mean what do you like to do?"

"I like to go to the playground," I replied. 

Ben gave me a skeptical look, saying, "You don't gotta do that."

"Do what?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"Pretend," he shrugged. "Big people don't really like the playground. 'cept Uncle Matt, but he's weird. He likes to do lots of stuff that most big people don't like."

"I do like the playground," I said slowly, not sure why he didn't believe me. "I like other things too, but I like the playground."

"You play with littles?" Ben asked, sounding interested.

I nodded, saying, "That's one of the best parts of being a daddy; you always have someone to play with. I figure that living someplace like this makes it even better, since it means that nobody thinks about grown ups playing."

Looking down at the table, Ben traced the wood grain, asking hesitantly, "What else do you like 'bout bein' a daddy?"

Matt's POV

When I came back to the playroom to let them know that lunch was done, Ben had moved. I'd been listening to their conversation, but I mostly tried to focus on tone, wanting to rescue Ben if it sounded like he needed it without intruding upon their meeting.

I hadn't expected to find him sitting in Tyler's lap, giggling happily, and it took me a minute to remember that this is what I'd wanted for him.

"Lunch done?" Tyler asked, smiling at me.

Woodenly, I nodded, not sure of how to deal with this development. Ben liked him. That was good. I had known Tyler would like Ben; I didn't see how anybody could dislike Ben. I hadn't expected Ben to warm up so quickly though.

He helped Ben to his feet before he stood up himself, and I was again surprised by the little boy reaching out his hand to Tyler.

"I will show you where the little bathroom is," he explained seriously. "You gotta wash your hands real good so there are no germs."

"That sounds like a good rule," Tyler replied, equally serious.

Retreating to the kitchen, I let him go and wash their hands while I put lunch on the table, reminding myself repeatedly that this was a good thing for Ben.

Even if that was true, it was still hard, and I was glad that Em wasn't here. If I was having a difficult time with this, then I didn't want to speculate as to how my wife would act.

When Ben led Tyler back from the bathroom, Ben hesitantly looked at the table, then at me, and I offered to Tyler, "Please sit wherever you like."

Nodding, Tyler sat down in the nearest chair. Rather than taking his usual place, beside me, Ben sat next to Tyler, and I had to remind myself again. This was a good thing for him.

Ben's POV

The maybe daddy seemed pretty nice, and Uncle Matt wanted me to like him. He kept telling me how great he was.

And I thought maybe he was. Except I used to think that Daddy was good too, and it turned out that I was wrong, which made everything all confusing and twisted up in my head and my tummy.

But Uncle Matt said, and he always promised to tell me the truth. I hadn't caught him lying before, and he was really really really smart, so if he said that Mr. Tyler was alright, then he was.

Plus, the maybe daddy had said a lot of nice things that sounded good, when we talked while Uncle Matt was out of the room. He said that he liked to read stories and cuddle, and he mentioned bubble baths. Those were all things that I liked, and Daddy had never wanted to do that.

So I sat next to him and tried to keep talking while we ate lunch. That was a little bit harder because Uncle Matt was right there, and so Mr. Tyler kept looking at him, but I tried very hard. I wanted to be good.

Tyler's POV

Ben was a bit quieter as we ate together, and he kept glancing at Matt and I before he'd look down at his food and seem to ignore us. 

After lunch, Matt shooed us away to the playroom while he cleaned up, rejecting any offers of help. Ben wasn't any more talkative than he'd been at lunch, even away from the other daddy.

"Would you like to color some more?" I asked him.

He shrugged, and I suggested, "Maybe we could read a story?"

That was apparently the right thing to say, as Ben rushed over to a nearby bookcase, quickly running his finger along the spines until he'd pulled out several volumes, which he carried to the couch and held, sitting down.

"What did you get?" I asked, joining him. I really wanted to pull him back onto my lap, but I didn't want to push too hard, so I settled for sitting beside him. Maybe he'd do the same thing he'd done before, crawling up into my lap as he got distracted by our activity.

Ben showed me the books, reading the titles clearly and offering commentary, "I got 'Where the Wild Things Are.' That's Em's favorite; Uncle Matt says that she makes a wild rumpus all by her own self."

"Emily seems like she would be able to," I commented.

He nodded, smiling a little as he explained, "Em gets loud sometimes, but she's good. Uncle Matt says."

Not quite sure of how to respond to that, I settled for telling him what I'd always thought, and I hoped he would believe me.

"I don't think that little boys or girls are ever bad," I said. "Sometimes people act bratty, but that's it."

He nodded, telling me, "That's what Uncle Matt says too."

"Well, Uncle Matt's really smart," I smiled.

"He is," Ben told me, nodding very seriously. "Uncle Matt is the smartest big person I ever met."

I nodded at that, asking, "What else, sweetheart?"

"'Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs,'" he read, showing me. "There's a movie, but the books better."

"It usually is," I nodded.

"This is 'Little Boy Brown,'" he continued. "I like the pictures in it."

"Looks interesting."

"And I got 'You are Stardust,'" offering me the final book. "It's got the best ill'strations I ever seen ever ever."

Knowing that had to be high praise from a little boy who loved art as much as Ben did, I asked, "Could we read this one first?"

I was apparently on a roll, interpreting Ben, because the little boy nodded quickly, "It's my favorite," he said, leaning against my arm and impatiently opening the book. "'cept not for chapter books 'cause we read Harry Potter. And that was really good and really exciting."

"I love Harry Potter," I mentioned, before starting to read.

He didn't last long, just through the first half dozen pages, before he fell asleep, head resting on my shoulder. I set the book down and waited quietly, not wanting to wake him up.

At some point, Matt reappeared, stopping and staring for a moment without saying a word.

"He fell asleep," I murmured uselessly. 

Matt nodded, "Yeah, it's nap time. I was just coming in to tell him that we needed to say good bye so that he could take a rest."

"Does he nap every day?" I asked.

"Mostly," Matt shrugged. "There are days when we skip it, but he typically needs it still. Um, he's still not sleeping great at night. He wakes up better in the morning if I make sure he gets a nap."

I nodded, craning my head so that I could see his face. If possible, Ben looked even more angelic when asleep.

"You really want this, don't you?" Matt asked, eyes widening when he realized what he'd asked. 

"Yeah," I answered. "I really do. I...I'm jealous that you get to have him every day."

Our conversation had apparently gotten too loud, because Ben started to shift, finally rubbing his eyes before he opened them. And panicked.

Matt's POV

Ben had looked pretty comfortable, from his position beside Tyler, but he apparently hadn't realized what he was doing as he fell asleep. Or maybe it was just scarier when he first woke up. 

Regardless, as soon as Ben realized that he was curled up against someone other than Emily or me, he shrieked, scrambling away so quickly that he fell on the floor.

"Whoa," I intervened quickly, taking the short steps to grab his arms. "Ben, it's okay," I soothed. "I'm right here. There's nothing scary."

He was too far gone to listen, although he apparently processed enough information to realize that I was still there, since he attached himself to me as cried.

"It's okay, peanut," I soothed, sitting on the floor and pulling him into my lap.

Tyler was sitting on the couch, watching with wide eyes, and I mouthed over Ben's head, "He's fine."

The man did not appear to be convinced of that, and he apologized, "Ben, I'm so sorry, sweetheart. Did I scare you?"

Ben wouldn't answer him, sobbing into my neck, and Tyler finally stood up, walking over and crouching beside us both to touch Ben's back.

It was the wrong thing to do. Ben's immediate response (and not one that I would have anticipated) was to swing his arm back, hard, to dislodge Tyler.

"No!" he shrieked, before hugging me again.

Tyler yelped as Ben's hand connected with his nose, and he sat back, holding his face for a minute, while Ben curled against me.

I had to let this run its course. Although I felt badly for Tyler, Ben wasn't in a place where he could be talked down. He seldom was, when he got this scared. Something took over, and my usually sweet and biddable little boy just had to be waited out.

"You okay?" I asked Tyler, even as I rocked Ben and gently stroked his back.

"That hurt," Tyler said, sounding shocked.

"Yeah," I agreed. "It would." 

Focusing back on Ben, I repeated, "You're fine, sweetpea. There's nothing to be upset about."

Tyler had moved himself a few feet back when Ben hit him, and he hadn't bothered to move from this new position.

"We have ice in the kitchen," I offered. "I'd help, but..."

The other man nodded, standing and leaving us alone for a few minutes. I listened as he got out the ice and a towel, making himself a pack for his nose. Ben was slowly winding down, but he was still holding onto me so tightly that it was actually uncomfortable.

When Tyler came back from the kitchen, he sat down on the couch, pretty far away from both of us. Pressing the ice to his face, he watched us both with an inscrutable expression.

"Does he have these tantrums often?"

Tyler's POV

I wasn't sure what had set Ben off. He seemed afraid, but we'd just been reading, and his response was totally disproportionate. Apparently, my question about tantrums was not appreciated.

"They're not tantrums," Matt explained, sounding irritated. "It's a trauma response."

Matt's irritation seemed not entirely fair, since I was simply trying to get information, and I asked, "Well, does he have these trauma responses frequently?"

He sighed, saying, "Maybe three or four times a week, now. I would expect that the incidence will increase when he gets to your place though. Stuff like this is typically triggered by changes."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that, and I sat silently, watching the two of them. Ben was completely ignoring me, and I felt unnecessary.

Finally, when it became clear that he wasn't going to calm any time soon, I stood, telling Matt, "I think I should go."

That got me a glare, but Ben didn't say a word, and I kept my distance as I said, "Thank you for lunch. Ben, I'm sorry if I upset you."

Then, without a backward glance, I walked out of the house and got into my car. I felt like going for a drive. I needed to think.

Matt's POV

I couldn't believe that Tyler had left! Yes, it was ugly when Ben had an episode, but it was also part of our life. In the same way that Emily occasionally felt the need to try to convince me that the only thing she could eat were raw fruits and vegetables, Ben sometimes had a meltdown and needed some time to feel better.

It took a while. It wasn't fun. But it was what Ben needed. And Em was so much better now than she'd been when we started, eating most of the time without any real argument, so I knew that we would get there with Ben too. Eventually, as long as we kept giving Ben love and security, this total meltdown triggered by something minor would stop. 

Or at least, they would decrease. They already had. In the beginning, it seemed like everything triggered him. As soon as he was comfortable in the house, any minor problem made him cry hysterically or shut down completely. Three or four times a week was nothing.

Ben mumbled something, face pressed against my neck, and I whispered, "Pardon, peanut?"

He pulled away just enough to make his speech comprehensible, although he wouldn't look at me, as he said, "I made Mr. Tyler leave."

"No, peanut," I disagreed, hugging him. "It was time for him to get going because it's just about time for naps for little boys."

Ben was tense in my arms, and I asked, "Do you think that you're ready for a little rest, peanut? I could really use a good cuddle while you take a bottle, and then I bet a nap would feel nice."

"Just me nap?" he asked.

I wasn't sure what he meant. Emily wasn't here. She only sometimes napped when he did. Even at daycare, nap time typically meant her laying down for 30 minutes, 'resting'. As much as she loved to sleep at night, she did not rest easily anywhere except her own bed. 

"Um, yeah," I replied. "Em isn't home yet."

Ben nodded, slowly disentangling himself from me and standing up. I rose and gave him a quick hug before starting to the kitchen to get him a bottle.

He was a shadow again, silent but attached to me. I was only making him ice water. He'd eaten a good lunch for me, but he was bound to be dehydrated from the crying. 

He followed me around though. I filled the large baby bottle with ice and water, throwing in a few raspberries for flavor. Ben's hand was in my back pocket the whole time, not allowing me to move more than an arm's length from him.

"Shall we read a bit?" I offered, once the bottle was ready.

Ben shook his head silently, and I lifted him onto my hip, stating, "Then I guess it's up to the nursery for us. We'll rock, and you can have a drink. How does that sound?"

"Good," he mumbled, turning his face against my chest and going back to silence.

We got upstairs and into the nursery, me grabbing the blanket and Owlie before I settled us both in the rocking chair. Ben was used to this, and he easily curled up in my lap, positioning himself to drink the water.

I set the chair to rocking, covering him with the blanket and nestling Owlie between us before slipping the bottle between his lips. Ben drank quietly, periodically glancing up at me and immediately looking away the moment I made eye contact.

Ben's POV

Uncle Matt was being so nice, and he shouldn't be. I'd heard him talking to Mr. Tyler, and I knew that he was mad about me not being able to control myself during our play date. 

I'd never heard him angry before, but I knew what angry sounded like, and it sounded like him when they were talking.

So, once I finished my bottle, I forced myself to apologizing, saying, "'m sorry that I was bad."

"What?" he asked.

I figured that he was doing that big person thing where he wanted me to explain exactly how I knew I'd been bad, so I tried to do a better job apologizing.

"I'm sorry that I got upset and yelled and cried while Mr. Tyler was here," I said slowly. "And I'm really really sorry that I hitted his face, Uncle Matt. I promise it was an acc'dent, but hitting is really bad anyway. I was rude and bad, and it's un'cceptable."

Risking a glance up at his face, I cringed. He looked really upset now, and I wasn't sure what else I could say to make it better. 

I knew enough to try though, and I hurriedly said, "Really, Uncle Matt. I'm really really really sorry. And I will apologize to Mr. Tyler so he still wants me."

Uncle Matt swallowed, asking, "Honey, do you want Mr. Tyler?"

Shrugging, I said, "He would be a good daddy. He says he likes the stuff you like, and you're the best daddy I know. And he wants to move here, and I could see you and Em all the time. But you could have your privacy 'gain, without me bein' here all the time."

Matt's POV

That was not the answer I was expecting. He'd seemed so happy, once I left them to their own devices, and I had thought I was doing the right thing.

But it seemed that in spite of all of our conversations about finding him a daddy, when we talked about how it was important that Ben have a big person who loved him and treated him, I'd somehow not gotten it across to him that it was equally important that Ben love and want that daddy.

"Do you like him?" I asked softly.

"He's nice," Ben answered.

"Honey, that's not what I'm asking," I told him gently. "I need to know if you like him. Please. Whatever answer you have is fine; I just need you to be honest with me."

Ben sighed heavily, pensive expression on his face, and he finally told me, "I think I could. He's really nice, Uncle Matt, and he would take good care of me. I think."

I nodded, thinking through what he had told me. I wasn't sure what Charlotte would say about this, and I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing, but I decided to just go ahead and say what I was thinking.

"Peanut, sometimes, love grows," I explained slowly. "And that's perfectly fine. Not everybody loves loves the person they end up with, not at first. Sometimes that's good because people can be more realistic, and they work harder up front. But it's important to me and Emily that you have a daddy that you really love, who loves you and treats you right. Understand? No matter how long it takes for you to find that person. You are not in the way here. You are not invading our privacy. Em and I love having you here, and you could stay forever and ever and ever."

"Then why you keep talkin' 'bout daddies?" Ben asked, confused.

I smiled, saying, "Because I think that you are such a special little boy that you really deserve the best possible daddy. We love you so much Ben, and we don't want you to have a daddy that you settle for."

"Course I'm going to settle," Ben told me, yawning a bit.

"No, no, peanut," I disagreed, shaking my head. "You're going to find a really good daddy. Maybe it'll be Mr. Tyler, but if it isn't, it could be someone else. You're a wonderful little boy, and you deserve somebody as wonderful as you."

He still looked skeptical, and I gave him a little squeeze, murmuring, "It's going to be really hard to find someone that special though, sweetpea. Because I'm pretty sure you're just about the most special and wonderful person on earth. There aren't a lot of people who are good enough to deserve you."

“Uncle Matt, ‘m gonna have to settle,” he explained patiently. “‘cause you’re the best daddy I know, but you’re already Em’s.”

“There are so many good daddies, Ben,” I murmured. “There are daddies...you are going to find a daddy that is perfect for you.”

Ben didn't look like he believed me, but he was getting pretty yawny, and I felt like it was probably time for him to go down. It'd been a rough day, and he needed the rest.

As I tucked him in, kissing his forehead and smoothing his curls, Ben sleepily blinked up at me and smiled.

"Love you, little peanut," I told him, making sure the blankets were right.

"Love you too, Uncle Matt," he mumbled, before rolling onto his side and finally falling asleep.

Emily's POV

Aunt Charlotte wouldn't let me go home until we ate lunch and watched a movie. She kept saying that Ben needed "space." 

That was dumb. My Ben never wanted space from me. I took care of him. Whenever he got nervous about something, and Daddy wasn't there, I was the first person Ben reached for.

I spent practically the whole play date staring at the clock, willing for it to be late enough that I could go home. Aunt Charlotte had said 2:00.

When the hands reached 1:58, I stood up, announcing, "I need to go home now."

"No, Em, let's finish the movie," Aunt Charlotte coaxed.

I shook my head stubbornly, reminding, "You said 2:00. It's 1:58. I have to put on shoes, and by the time I do that and walk over, it'll be 2:00. You said."

Aunt Charlotte looked frustrated by that, but she had said 2:00, and she couldn't very well tell me no now. And if she tried, I was just going to leave anyway. There wasn't anything that she could do about it, and I would safe word if she tried.

It was with that thought in mind that I went and got my sneakers, sitting on the floor to put them on and tie them. Lucy and Aunt Charlotte kept talking to me, following me out to the hallway and trying to convince me to stay, but I needed to go home. 

Then, I stood up, remembering my manners, "Thank you for having me. I need to go home now."

"Let me walk you home," Aunt Charlotte suggested.

"You don't have shoes on," I pointed out. I wasn't waiting for her to find shoes. This was a stalling tactic. I knew it. I had used it. She couldn't fool me.

"Give me a minute," she replied.

I shook my head, making sure to step far enough away that I was out of grabbing distance. Keeping one eye on her, I repeated, "Thank you for having me. Bye," before I turned the knob on the door and left, quickly.

There was a distinct possibility that Aunt Charlotte was going to call Daddy about this, but that was just the way it was. I had to get home. 

I ran the whole way there, anxious to get inside and find out how the play date went. Bursting through our front door, I yelled, "I'M HOME!"

"Shhhhh," Daddy hissed, getting up from the living room couch. "Emily! Too loud! You know it's nap time!"

"You made him have a nap?" I wrinkled my nose. "Why? I wanted to see Ben."

"He's fine, baby," Daddy tried. "He needed the rest. He fell asleep without me even asking."

"I'm going to go see him," I said, not bothering to kick off my shoes before racing for the stairs. I had to be trickier with Daddy; he ran fast, and he was used to catching me.

"Emily," he said, sounding irritable as he followed me. "Emily Anne! Do not wake him up!"

I didn't listen as I ran up the stairs, going all the way to the nursery to find Ben. I didn't understand what Daddy was talking about anyway. Ben wasn't sleeping. He was lying really still and quiet, and I knew that was his fake sleep. When he really slept, he moved around a lot, and he muttered funny stuff.

"Hi!" I greeted him, forcing myself to have a big smile. Daddy said we should be happy if Ben was happy. I didn't necessarily agree, but I didn't want him to feel guilty or sad because of me. "How was Mr. Tyler?"

Ben kept pretending for a minute, and I hurriedly toed off my shoes, leaving them in the doorway before going to the crib and climbing in beside him. 

Wrapping my arms around him in a hug, I asked again, "How was Mr. Tyler?"

Matt's POV

Emily was in the crib when I got upstairs. I wasn't quite sure how she had done it that quickly, but she had. 

Stepping back, I listened to their murmured conversation. Sometimes, I got really good information this way.

"So how was he?" Emily asked, sounding irritable. She'd apparently tried to get Ben to tell her more than once.

I could practically hear the shrug as Ben replied, "He was okay. We colored."

"Was he nice to you?"

"I wasn't nice to him," Ben whispered, sounding disappointed. "I got...I got so I cried and couldn't remember I was safe. I needed your daddy, and Mr. Tyler touched me, and I hit him."

Emily giggled at that, and I had to will myself not to intervene, continuing to listen as she said, "So? Sometimes, you hit. He should know that."

"I don't," Ben argued, sounding somewhat doubtful. "Not mostly. Just sometimes, if'n I'm scared and you touch me wrong, I acc'dentally use my hands 'stead of my words. It's an acc'dent."

"How did he touch you?" Emily asked, voice suddenly very stern.

"With his hands?"

I knew what Emily was getting at here, and I listened as she clarified, "No, but where, my Ben? And were they nice hands? Daddies should only have nice hands. 'less they’re spanking your bottom, but even then, it's only the part where they're smacking when their hands are allowed to be mean, and it's only your bottom and your legs."

This was not the first conversation that I'd listened to, where Emily explained to Ben what Daddies were supposed to do. Although Emily's assessment of situations didn't necessarily fit my own, I figured someone else reiterating that daddies didn't just punch you in the face could only help Ben.

"Sometimes, they smack your hands," Ben informed her. "If'n you have naughty hands. That's okay."

That seemed fair enough, and Emily made a noncommittal noise in response, before saying, "So where?"

"Just here," Ben explained. "It didn't hurt, Em. He has nice hands. But I didn't."

"That's okay, Ben," Emily soothed. "It is. Sometimes, you get scared, and that's fine. Mr. Tyler needs to learn that."

"I don't think he's coming back," Ben admitted, voice low.

"Good," Emily replied. Before I could intervene, she continued, "Anybody who doesn't want to see you all the time every day, and would get mad about something little like getting punched in the face when you're scared, is not a good enough daddy for you."

"I'm never going to find a daddy like you," Ben told her, sounding frustrated. "There's not lots and lots of them, Em. You gotta be re'listic. I can find an okay daddy, and I just want one who will live here too, so I can come see you and Uncle Matt a lot."

"Why don't you just stay here?" Emily asked him.

She sounded so genuinely confused and sad about it, and although I'd told her not make Ben feel guilty, I had to hear his response.

"I'm in the way," he patiently explained, making my heart twist unpleasantly. "You and your daddy need time 'lone, and I'm always here."

"But we don't," Emily argued. "We love having you here."

"Then why is Uncle Matt making me meet new maybe daddies?" Ben challenged.

I could hear the eye roll as Emily explained, "Because Daddy is being stubborn and dumb. He won't listen. I keep telling him that I wouldn't mind sharing forever. It would be fun. Then you could have a daddy, but you would live here, and we could see each other all the time."

I was so involved in listening to them that it took me a minute to process what Emily was saying. As I stepped forward to make her stop, she finished, "I would love to have you here all the time, Ben. You can do stuff with my daddy; I don’t mind. You’d be pretty together.”

Realizing how long I'd let this conversation go on, I stepped in, lecturing, "Emily Anne, I don't believe I told you to come up here and wake up Ben."

"He was already 'wake, Daddy," Emily explained patiently.

Ben's POV

Uncle Matt sounded mad, and I pulled my blanket over my head, quickly telling him, "I'm sorry. I'll nap."

He ignored me, and I could feel him pulling Emily out of the crib. I heard the smack and the angry, "Hey," that Em threw at him, and I couldn't help but peek, wondering if I was about to be pulled onto my side so I could get a swat.

"Go ahead and sleep, peanut," he told me, still focused on Emily.

"Yessir," I said, scrunching my eyes shut. I was going to do what I was told. He was upset, and I didn't want him thinking that I was going to be naughty again. Not after I had that tantrum for Mr. Tyler.

"We'll be downstairs," he added.

I didn't watch as he herded Em out the door, although I could hear the sounds of her arguing. Once they were gone, I turned to look out the window, thinking.

I knew I should be sleeping, but I wasn't tired. My head was too full, and I needed some quiet time to think by myself. Before Uncle Matt laid me down, I thought I would sleep for a million years, but as soon as I was in the crib, all I could do was think.

Mr. Tyler was okay. I thought he'd be a good daddy, if he still wanted me. And Uncle Matt, even if he said it wasn't true, wanted me to move out. I could tell. He'd gotten so mad at Emily for even saying I could stay here. It was time.

This was never supposed to be forever. I had known that. I maybe got a little bit teary when I thought about moving out, but that was just because I'd gotten spoiled. And Mr. Tyler had said that he read books and gave baths, and he seemed like he'd maybe cuddle me some of the time.

Sniffling, I waited for nap time to be over, and I hoped that Mr. Tyler wasn't too fed up with me. I would be lucky to get a daddy that nice, and I should be grateful.

Matt's POV

"You never listen," Emily said fiercely, stomping her foot at me. "You just do whatever you want, and you don't care what Ben and I think."

"I don't care what you think?" I asked, incredulous. I was too angry for this conversation. I knew that. But she just kept pushing, and it was satisfying to respond. "I'm the one who is just doing whatever I want? Are you serious?"

"Yes!" she insisted furiously. 

"Emily, I am not having this conver-"

"No!" she shouted at me. "No! You don't get to do that again. You keep putting me off and insisting that we give Ben space, but you're not, Matt. You're pushing him away when he doesn't want to go, out of some misguided sense of chivalry to Ben and loyalty to me."

My wife looked close to tears, and she'd called me Matt. I wasn't sure if she had meant to safe word and forgotten, or if calling me Matt was just a slip of the tongue, but I decided to treat this like she had said red. 

Sitting on the couch, I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths before looking at her and saying, "We can discuss this, but I need you to be big, and we both need to be calm."

Emily's POV

Irrationally, I wanted to tell him no. I'd tried to discuss this rationally with him for weeks, and he just kept explaining how I was wrong.

However, I knew that he really wouldn't talk with me about this unless I calmed down and acted like an adult. There were rules about stuff like this, rules that we had come up with together, so that being little wasn't just a way for the two of us to avoid dealing with conflict together.

"I need some water," I informed him stiffly, abandoning him while I went to get a drink. Filling a large glass with ice water, I drank down half of it without stopping. Then, I refilled it, and rejoined him, sitting on the far end of the couch.

"It's not fair to do this to Ben," Matt said calmly.

For a moment, I contemplated throwing my drink at his head. Maybe a heavy glass to the face would make him stop and think. I knew that wasn't a good plan though. If nothing else, it was just going to infuriate him.

"I feel like," I started, choosing my words carefully, "you are so concerned with protecting Ben that you aren't thinking about what he wants."

Matt sighed, telling me, "It's not that easy, sweetheart. Ben doesn't necessarily know what's good for him. You know how much he likes to please people."

I nodded. He was right about that. Ben liked it when people were happy, and he would do just about anything to accomplish that goal.

"Maybe we don't know what's good for us either," I pointed out. "But we still get to choose. And so does he. If we invited Ben to stay here, it would have to be like this, Matt. Inviting him to join us this way is an adult conversation. Ben and I would both have to be big to discuss it. And we can talk with him about what all of his options are. But one of those choices should be staying here."

"Why, Em? Can you explain that to me?"

I wanted to pace. Sometimes, Matt was frustratingly dense, and pacing helped me to focus on something else. Matt said it was passive aggressive though, and it wasn't going to help my case right now.

"We love him," I pointed out the most obvious reason. "We love him, and I want him to stay here forever. You love him too, Matt."

"He deserves more," Matt argued.

In spite of myself, I rolled my eyes even as I tried to blink back tears. It took me a minute to formulate my argument, but then I said, "How can you say that Ben deserves more than being someplace safe where people love him? That's what we keep telling him we want. We can give him that. We can give him a safe family where he's loved."

"But he-he'd never be first."

"Who said anything about first?" I shrugged. "He is sometimes now. I can share, honey. It's not that hard. We both need different things from you, and we both give different things to you. It would be perfect, if we could all be together. Don't you see that?"

Matt shook his head, telling me, "No, Em. I don't."

"Okay," I nodded, saying, "I want you to think about something and give me a 100% honest answer to just the question I ask."

As soon as he nodded his agreement, I said, "Not thinking about what's best for me or for Ben, if it's only about you, how do you feel about Ben still being here?"

"I can't just-"

"Just the questions I asked," I reminded him sternly.

"Emily, it doesn't-"

"It does," I interrupted him. Daddy said sometimes that I should be a lawyer, and times like this, I agreed. "Just the question I asked, please."

Sighing heavily, Matt replied, "I would want him be here. I love having him. But that's not the way it is, Em. It just isn't. You are here, and I have to consider what the two of you need."

I didn't throw a lot of temper tantrums, not as many as Matt said, and I really didn't do it when I was big. I wanted to right now though. So badly. I settled for rebuttal.

"He loves us," I told Matt firmly. "We love him. This is not complicated, Matt."

Matt's POV

I know that Em wants to think it isn't complicated, but she was wrong. It was incredibly complicated. The logistics of juggling the two of them was kind of terrifying to think about. And in spite of what Em had said upstairs, I had reservations about her ability to know that Ben and I were intimate without panicking.

"Em..." I trailed off uselessly.

She jumped up, pacing rapidly as she lectured, "It isn't! It is not complicated. We love him. That's all that matters. We have the space and the money, and we can do this. If Ben wants. I think he should at least get a vote, Matt."

"That's not fair, Emily," I replied, upset. "If we ask him, he's going to try to figure out what we want, and then he'll answer us whatever way he thinks that is."

"So we only talk when we're both big, and we talk a lot, and we keep it an ongoing discussion. I don't expect you to throw him on the bed and stake your claim or whatever," she informed me, stopping in her pacing to glare, hands on her hips. 

I didn't know what to do, and I let my head drop into my hands, trying to think and sort out all of my thoughts. There were a lot of them.

I loved Ben. That one was definite, absolutely, no doubt in my mind. I loved Emily, and that was an easy one too. I found them both attractive, and either one of them on their own was a no brainer. 

But it wasn't either of them on their own, and that's where it got complicated. I didn't know if Emily could really deal with the implications of me being involved with someone else, especially someone who wouldn't be sexually involved with her. And I was reasonably certain that Ben wouldn't want to have sex with Emily, although I worried that he would do it because he thought she wanted to, and that wasn't good. I didn't know if Ben would be better off somewhere else. I still felt like he deserved a home of his own, with no competing littles, but maybe...

It was twisted up, and I'd gone over many times in my mind. Today wasn't any better than it had been yesterday or the day before.

My thoughts were interrupted by Emily sitting back down on the sofa, grabbing my hands. She gently said, "You didn't think that we could make staying here work. You were worried about me. And you were wrong."

"This is more complicated than a guest, Em."

"It's still Ben though," she shrugged. "It's still Ben, and we love him, and he loves us, and I know the actual living part is going to be hard, especially at first, the emotional part isn't. You're making it much more complicated than it needs to be."

"What if you're wrong?" I asked her.

She gave me a knowing smile as she replied, "I'm never wrong."

"Emily, this is serious," I reminded.

"I know," she said. "But I'm not, Matt. Not when it comes to stuff like this. I know you, and I know me, and I'm not worried about it. We can do this."

"What about Ben?"

Shrugging again, she said, "It's his choice, Matt. And that's something that I don't think you're paying enough attention to. It might be the wrong choice, for Ben to stay here, but it is partially his. You want to have these talks without him, which made sense at first, but we can't keep going back to it not being good for him without consulting Ben. It's not fair to him. You're underestimating him."

Emily's POV

I could tell that I'd convinced him. Matt had this expression, this look that said he'd lost, and I was pretty familiar with it. I was convincing when I needed to be.

Sighing heavily, he said, "We can discuss it with Ben, Emily, but that's all I'm promising. And there will be no one-on-one discussions. Understood? No harassing, no promising. Just talking with the three of us together, and we'll respect his decision."

"That means you have to too," I pointed out. "If he says yes, then you can't keep falling back on it not being good for him. If he's responsible enough to make a decision that this isn't the right choice for him, then we have to trust that he can make a decision that it is."

"Agreed," he nodded, before pulling me into his side and kissing me. "When?"

"Now?"

"He's napping," Matt told me.

"No he's not," I disagreed. "He's pretending because he thinks you want him to."

"I think he's napping," Matt insisted.

I stood up, shaking my head and holding out my hand to pull my husband up off of the couch, "No, he's not," I disagreed.

I led the way up the stairs to Ben, who was curled up in his crib, staring out the window.

"Ben?"

Ben's POV

I started when I heard Em's voice, before muttering, "Your daddy said it's naptime, Em. Be good."

"It's okay, Ben," Uncle Matt said gently, coming to the crib and letting down the side. "Em and I had something we wanted to talk about, but we need you to be big. Can you get up and do that for us?"

I didn't want to. This was bad. If he wanted to talk to me, and I had to be big, that meant they'd finally gotten sick of me, and they were going to kick me out. Being bad with Mr. Tyler was just the final straw. 

Now, I wouldn't have anybody, but I had to be brave. Sitting up, I swung my feet around to dangle over the side of the crib, nodding silently.

"Let's go downstairs and get something to drink," Uncle Matt suggested, picking me up.

In spite of myself, I snuggled in, even as I objected, "You said be big now."

"You need to be big when we talk," Uncle Matt replied, tickling a little. "But we don't have to talk just yet, peanut. I think I could use some snuggling first. We'll get you a drink, and then we'll sit at the table and talk together."

Even though I knew that I should be getting ready for no more snuggling for a while, I decided I would take advantage of my last few minutes.

Uncle Matt carried me all the way downstairs, to the dining room table, where he settled me while Em got drinks for everybody. While I waited, I sipped the ice water, wishing my stomach didn't feel so awful.

"The thing we want to talk with you about, Ben," Uncle Matt said slowly, "is you staying with us."

Although I kept telling myself to be brave and good, that they'd already let me stay a lot longer than most people would, I couldn't help but start to cry then, covering up my face to hide my tears.

Matt's POV

I hadn't expected that, and I looked at Emily, horrified by what we'd done. My wife didn't pause, scooting her chair over to Ben and hugging him.

She spared a glare in my direction, as well as mouthing something. I wasn't sure what it was, but given the expression on her face, it was nothing complimentary about me.

"It's okay, Ben," she murmured. "It's okay. Don't cry. It's okay; I promise."

"I know," Ben sobbed. "It'll be okay. I can find someplace else."

"Darn it, Matt," Emily really glared at me then. "You scared him, and we didn't even say-"

Turning her head back to Ben, she focused herself on him, clearly too irritated with me to even try to deal with it at the moment.

"Ben, nobody wants you to move out," she explained to him.

In spite of the death glare that I knew it would provoke, I interjected, "Unless you want to, in which case, we would support that."

"No we wouldn't," Emily disagreed. "We would say that we would, but we would be sad. We're not asking you to leave, Ben. We want you to stay."

"No," Ben shook his head. 

"Ben, we are," Emily informed him. "We really are. Matt's just kind of dumb when he does stuff like this. You should have heard him when he proposed. It was kind of pathetic."

"Hey!"

"It was," she said sternly. "Ben, we wanted to talk to you, all three of us big, because this is an important, big person kind of decision, and Matt's really worried that you'll just do what you think we want."

Ben's tears had slowed, and he hesitantly pulled away, looking critically at Emily's face and saying, "I can stay?"

"We want you to," she shrugged. 

"For how long?" Ben asked. "Because I know I was bad with Mr. Tyler, but I can act better next time."

"You weren't bad with Tyler," Emily contradicted. "You got scared. And we were kind of thinking forever, with no more other big people. Just, you know, me and you and Daddy."

Eyes widening, Ben asked, "Forever?"

Em nodded quickly, grinning widely, "Forever! We want you to be our Ben. Because we need you. We didn't know we needed a Ben, but we're thinking that we do, and so we were hoping that if you were willing, we could try you staying here more permanently."

"You need me?"

Feeling superfluous, I reached across the table to take Ben's hands, saying, "We do, peanut.”

"With sex," Emily informed him.

"Emily," I hissed.

"No secrets," she said sternly. "If we're going to do that, then it's no secrets. It won't work otherwise."

I glared at her as I explained, "Nobody is saying that you have to do anything that you don't want to, Ben. If you want to stay, then that's wonderful. And it is absolutely not at all contingent upon anything that we do together. If you just want it to be non-sexual, then that's 100% okay with Emily and me."

"And if you wanted to have sex with us, or just Matt, then that's fine too," Emily glared back just as fiercely. "I suppose just me too, except...you know. I'm a girl."

Ben started to giggle at that, and Emily asked, "What do you think?"

"What would it be like?" Ben asked her.

"Like now," she said, shrugging. "Except all the time. He'd be your daddy. I mean, he does the daddy stuff now, but you would call him daddy."

"If you wanted," I said.

"And...you could sleep in the nursery if you want," Emily thought. "Or in the big bed. I don't care. And Matt would take us on dates, and we'd go on vacations, and we'd be a family."

Ben was chewing on his lip, and it was hell to not reach over and tug the bitten up lower lip from between his teeth. 

"I think," Ben said slowly. "I think I would like that. I don't want to leave. I don't know though."

"What don't you know?"

"Ummmm," he blushed, looking down as he muttered, "Sex."

"You don't have to make any decisions about that now," I replied. "I think Em just wants you to understand that it's an option if you're interested. Emily and I are perfectly happy with you being our Ben who sleeps in the nursery. Or, if you wanted to sleep in the big bed occasionally, but still not do anything more...it's your choice."

"We love you," Emily said confidently. "And we want you to be happy."

"I like it here," Ben told her softly.

"And you are welcome to stay as long as you want," I said. "We're just saying that if as long as you want is forever, we would be happy about that."

Ben looked completely overwhelmed by all of the information, and I suggested, "How about you think about it, okay? You and Em can go and play, and nobody is going to pressure you to make any decisions. You just let us know when you make up your mind, or if you decide that you have questions."

Emily took Ben's hand, explaining as she tugged him along to the playroom, "That means we can be little again. We just have to be big for important talks because then we all have to discuss. Daddy likes to discuss."

Emily's POV

Ben was quiet at first, so I just got crayons. He liked that. He always like to color, but especially when he was feeling quiet.

It would take him a while to start talking, but I knew if I gave him some crayons and some paper, that he would. Eventually. 

Daddy filled up the space with too many words with Ben. Sometimes, he just needed quiet. Then, he would tell you stuff. If you talked too much, he tried to talk back, saying the things that he thought you wanted instead of what he was actually thinking.

We colored for a while, but he started talking eventually, just like I knew he would. I knew him.

"You would share?" he asked me hesitantly.

I shrugged, considering the crayon colors as I replied, "I already do."

"Yeah, but this is more sharing," he explained, focused on his picture. "Because right now you only have to share until you get sick of it. But this...Uncle Matt doesn't mean just for a while. He said he meant forever. And he-your daddy never lied to me before. So I think he means it."

"Daddy only says stuff he means," I said, waving my hand. "You know that."

"Yeah," he agreed.

We colored for a while without talking, before he asked the next question, "You-he wants to...you know. With me?"

"Of course," I rolled my eyes. Sometimes, it seemed like Ben didn't see how pretty he was. 

He was really pretty, my Ben. He looked like pictures of angels, all curly hair and hazel eyes. He was beautiful. Plus, he was really adorable, especially when he first woke up and his hair was wild and his thumb was still in his mouth.

"David didn't," Ben whispered.

"You didn't have sex with David?" I asked, looking up at him. 

He shrugged, staring determinedly at his papers as he said, "He did. Sometimes. Except...he always acted-I don't know. And it hurt, and sometimes there was blood. I didn’t like it, but David said if I was a good boy, then it wouldn’t hurt. It had to hurt because I was so bad, and I wasn’t a good listener. I tried, but I guess I was still bad, and it hurt, and I didn’t like it.”

“No,” I told him, knowing that I was right. “Sex doesn’t hurt, Ben. Sometimes, like at first, it’s a little uncomfortable, like you’re stretching too much. And Daddy’s kind of...big. But he’s slow and gentle, and it mostly just feels really good. Sometimes really really good, like your whole body is made of stars that are going to explode because it’s too much good feelings. And at first, when it did still hurt me, Daddy was so careful. He would move like one centimeter and then say, ‘Is that okay? Are you okay, Em?’ so that he knew. And there shouldn’t be blood. Unless you’re playing a game where there’s blood, but Daddy doesn’t play those games because we don’t like them.”

I really wanted to know more about how David had acted. Daddy got really mad at me when I asked Ben questions though; he said I was being nosy. I wasn't. I was just curious.

But the best way to find stuff out was to be quiet, and so I once I knew that he had heard me explain sex, I waited him out until he slowly said, "I'm ugly. David always said...I was lucky because he loved me anyways. Even though I was ugly and stupid and bad, and I didn’t even know how to be good for him when he wanted to. You know. With me.”

Each word was a separate sentence, and it took me a minute to string it all together into something coherent.

"David was an asshole," I informed Ben. "He was a stupid, awful, hateful man, and he liked to pretend that he was a daddy, but he wasn't, Ben. He wasn't. Daddies don't do the stuff that he did."

Ben's POV

Emily was so sure, but she was always so sure. Every time we talked, it was like she knew exactly the way the world worked. Sometimes she was right, but sometimes, Uncle Matt said she was wrong.

Except Uncle Matt said that Em was right about this. He insisted that David wasn't really a daddy either, and that daddies didn't hurt littles. 

I knew Uncle Matt wouldn't lie to me. At least, he'd never lied to me before. He was really smart too, so he had always been right when he told me stuff. Sometimes, I wouldn't believe it at first, but if I waited, I would see that he knew.

It was confusing. It was always confusing when we talked about David. Sometimes, I wished that I'd never met David. Except, if I'd never met David, then I wouldn't've met Em and Uncle Matt either. And so I guess I didn't.

"I'm hungry," I informed Em, hopping up and going to find Uncle Matt. I needed him.

He was in his study, typing away on his laptop, and I hung in the doorway for a minute, not sure if I was allowed to interrupt. When Uncle Matt worked, we weren't supposed to. But sometimes, he just used his study to type. He might be emailing his mom.

While I was busy trying to figure out whether or not he was working, he noticed me, closing the laptop and waving me in.

"Hey, peanut," he greeted. "What's up?"

I stayed in the doorway, nervous about coming closer. I didn't really have a good reason for interrupting him, and maybe he'd be mad. Except, he didn't really get mad. Sometimes with Em, I guess.

Matt's POV

"Ben," I gently encouraged.

His hands were twisting rapidly in front of his stomach, and he was staring off into space, lost in thought.

Pushing myself away from my desk, I held out my arms, "Come 'ere, peanut. I need a break."

He still didn't move, and I explicitly asked, "Would you please come and cuddle with me, Ben? I was getting kind of lonely."

That did it, and he walked pretty fast over to me, climbing onto my lap and taking up his usual position, thumb in mouth, while he thought.

"What've you and Em been up to?" I asked, rubbing his back.

"Coloring," he mumbled, around his thumb.

"Did you bring a picture to show me?"

I wasn't sure why he'd interrupted me, but Ben wouldn't do that unless he needed something. Em used to do this sometimes, if she got bored. Although, now that Ben lived with us, she typically had something to do.

Ben wouldn't though. He had a lot of anxiety about my study, and he usually seemed like he was trying to ignore it. It was the room where I did the big punishments with Emily, but Ben had never gotten in that much trouble. 

They weren't supposed to be in here without me, Em had told Ben about that shortly after he moved in. I didn't care if they came in while I was there already though.

He wouldn't tell us why he didn't like it, or maybe he couldn't, and I'd tried to just gently encourage him to visit occasionally. Sometimes, I'd have him do his therapy work in here, or he'd sit and color while I was working, if Em wasn't around. I didn't want him to be afraid of the room.

"No," he whispered.

"Is Em bothering you?" I asked, fighting hard to keep my voice from sharpening. I was going to be extremely upset if that was the problem, but I didn't want him thinking that I was mad with him.

He sat up a little at that so he could look me in the eye as he emphatically shook his head, "No, Uncle Matt. She's 'splainin' stuff, but that's it."

"Uh huh," I said. "And when she's explaining stuff, is it because you ask?"

He nodded, making sure that I understood before snuggling back down against my chest.

"Just needed a cuddle?" I asked, hugging.

"I-" he stopped.

"Ben, peanut, what?" I prompted. "Do you have questions for me? Did you and Em have a fight? Do you have something you need to tell me?"

He shook his head, and I could feel his body tensing up on my lap. Em sighed from the doorway.

"He's hungry, Daddy."

"Oh, is that what it is?" I asked, helping him up so I could stand. "Let's fix that."

I carried him to the kitchen, loving the way he snuggled down against my neck. Em was right. I knew she was, even though I hated to admit I'd been being so stupid about this. And I didn't want to pressure him, but I didn't know what we'd do if he decided he didn't want to stay.

"What shall we have?" I asked, checking the clock quickly. 

It was four. Dinner wouldn't be for two hours, so I wasn't worried about that. Em was at my side, and she pointed at the cookie jar.

"I think Ben needs cookies, Daddy. It's been a stressful day."

"Does that sound good, peanut?" I asked him.

He nodded, thumb in mouth, and I told Emily, "Go on, Em. Grab some for all of us, okay? I'll pour some milk."

Bouncing him a bit on my hip, I pulled the milk from the fridge and filled two glasses, grabbing a sippy cup for Ben. Em put cookies on a plate, carrying that and one of the glasses with her to the playroom.

"We're eating in here?" I asked.

"Uh huh," she said. "Ben can show you his beautiful pictures, Daddy."

Tyler's POV

I had been sitting at my computer for an hour, staring at the screen. Every once in a while, I would type up the email, read it, and then delete everything.

Ben was a sweet boy. I could see that. He seemed like a wonderful little boy, and I so very badly wanted him to be mine. But after today, I knew that he wasn't. 

I wanted to email Charlotte and tell her the truth, but it sounded like I was just trying to make myself sound better. I'd realized today though, as I watched Matt comfort Ben, that this little boy wasn't in the market for a daddy. I wasn't sure if he ever would be. 

For now, it was too soon, and as sympathetic as I was to that, and as much as I wanted to be able to be patient, I didn't know if he ever would be. I didn't want to wait a year only to find out that Ben had decided that he couldn't handle the idea of a daddy ever, and that he was just going to stay with Uncle Matt.

It wasn't entirely Ben either. Although I didn't think that he was ready to match, I also didn't want to match with him. I could be the guy who cleaned up boo boos and kissed skinned knees. I could give a bath or read a story or snuggle with a little boy who was out of sorts. I didn't feel equipped to take care of a little boy who had clearly been through hell.

The ways I had of telling Charlotte made me sound like an asshole. I was kind of thinking it wasn't just me sounding like an asshole though. Maybe it actually made me a bad person to reject Ben because he'd already been through a lot. As guilty as I felt though, I didn't think that dating Ben and realizing that I couldn't handle it later would make me any less awful of a person.

Finally, I settled for a short email, basically telling Charlotte that although I had enjoyed getting to know Ben, that I wasn't the right person for him long-term. Then, before I could chicken out, I hit send.

That accomplished, I went back to the personals site and reposted mine, hoping for the best. Ben wasn't mine, but there was a little boy out there who was.

Emily's POV

Ben wouldn't get off of Daddy's lap. He was showing off his picture, very determinedly not talking about any of the things that we'd talked about before, and Daddy was letting him.

I didn't understand how they could do that. I felt like the words were bubbling up inside of me, threatening to boil over, and I just wanted to talk and talk and talk until everything was done.

Ben wasn't ready though, and Matt was barely ready to acknowledge that he wanted my Ben to stay, and so I had to hold it in. Even though it felt like I was going to explode with needing them to say something.

We colored together for a while, until Ben's tummy started to growl because he was ready for dinner.

"Hungry?" Daddy laughed, hugging Ben tightly and kissing his cheek.

Ben blushed and giggled, nodding a little, and Daddy slid him off of his lap and stood up to leave us to color.

"Can we have pizza, Daddy?"

Matt's POV

It took me a minute to hear the question and think through what was being asked. And who was asking. 

"Did you just call me Daddy?" I asked Ben slowly, kneeling back down beside him.

Ben was blushing furiously, staring at his paper and gripping a crayon tightly, but he nodded a little.

"Did you mean to?" I asked.

Emily scoffed, saying, "Of course he did."

"Em, let him answer," I ordered sharply. 

It could have been a slip of the tongue. I'd once called my third grade teacher, 'mom' because I was focused on what I was doing. And Ben focused pretty hard when he was coloring. But he'd never called me daddy before.

Lost in thought, Ben had to tug on my shirt to get a response as he repeated, "Can we please order pizza, Daddy."

"Yes," Emily said emphatically. "It's a cel'bration, Daddy. We should have pizza, if my Ben wants it."

My head was still not quite caught up with them, trying to understand how I'd woken up that morning with plans to help Ben and Tyler get along, and now it was dinner time and I had two littles calling me Daddy.

"Daddy!" Emily had stood up, and she stomped her foot. "Pay attention." 

Looking at Ben, she said, "I think you broke him. His brain is all full of gerbils or something."

Emily's POV

Finally. It felt like I'd been trying to get us all to this point for forever, and I didn't have time to wait for Matt to catch up again. He was just sitting there, some dopey smile in his face, like he was confused by life. 

Ben had gotten up on his knees beside him, pulling on his shirt. He wouldn't look at Matt, and his face was so red that I thought it might explode, but he said, "Daddy? I would like pizza for dinner."

My Ben didn't get a chance to say anything else because then, Daddy was tackling him, doing a full body hug that made my Ben squeak in surprise before he hugged back, smiling so big he looked kind of demented.

"So I should order pizza?" I asked, watching them both.

Daddy reached out and grabbed me, pulling me down with them, "Get over here," he ordered, hugging us both before tickling me. "You're a brat."

"I'm awesome," I replied, even as I giggled and rolled away. "I want mushrooms and spinach, Daddy."

"No mushrooms," Ben insisted, wrinkling his nose.

"We'll get two, peanut," Daddy promised, kissing him. "Whatever you want."

After deciding what to get, Daddy left to call the pizza place, and Ben and I stayed sprawled on the floor together. Once he was gone, we cuddled instead of tickling.

"I love you," I told Ben seriously, kissing his cheek and giving him a hug. "You're my Ben forever and ever and ever."

He blushed, hiding his face against me as he mumbled, "I love you too."

"My Ben," I repeated, kissing him again. I was completely, perfectly, 100% content.

Until I thought about something. And groaned. Loudly. Ben sat up a little, patting me and saying, “What’s wrong, Em?”

Rolling onto my tummy, I grumbled, “Discussions. We’re going to have to have lots and lots and lots of discussions.”

Peeking up at him, I continued, “It’s worth it because I really want you to stay here forever and ever, but I hate discussions.”

Ben had been looking worried, but he collapsed into giggles at that, kissing me again, “I don’t care. I think.”


End file.
